My Mom, The Bars, and My Worries
Honestly, if my 78-year-old mom suddenly started hitting the bars, my heart would just sink, and then it would race. My first thought wouldn't be anger, but pure, unadulterated worry. Like, "Mom, what's going on?" It's not just the bars, it's the age, the potential for falls, for getting lost, for who she might meet. All those 'what ifs' would be screaming in my head.
The Talk We'd Have
So, the very first thing I'd do, without a doubt, is talk to her. Not a lecture, not an interrogation, but a real, sit-down, heart-to-heart. I'd pick a quiet time, maybe over a cup of tea, and start with something like, "Mom, I've noticed you've been going out to bars, and to be honest, it's making me really concerned about you." I'd make sure she knew it was coming from a place of love and fear for her safety, not judgment.
Then, I'd just listen. Is she lonely? Is she bored? Did something happen that's making her want to escape? Is she feeling a bit rebellious and just wants to have some fun? Is she trying to relive her youth? Understanding the "why" behind it would be my main goal. There's usually a reason for a sudden change in behavior, especially at that age.
Finding Solutions, Together
Once I had a clearer picture, my next step would be to explore alternatives with her. If she's feeling isolated, maybe we could look into some senior groups, or classes, or even just plan more regular outings ourselves. "Mom, how about we go to that art class you always talked about? Or maybe we could join a book club?" The goal would be to help her find the connection or excitement she's looking for in a safer, more sustainable way.
I'd also gently bring up her health. "Mom, are you sure this is okay with your medications?" or "Are you feeling okay when you're out late?" It's a delicate balance of respect and responsibility.
When to Bring in Backup
Now, if she brushed me off, or if I truly felt her safety was at risk – like if she was coming home disoriented, or seemed to be drinking too much – I'd know I couldn't handle it alone. My next move would be to reach out to my siblings or other close family members. We'd put our heads together and figure out a united approach. Sometimes, hearing the same concern from multiple people can make a difference.
And if things got really serious, and I feared for her well-being, I'd consider talking to her doctor. They might be able to assess if there are any underlying health issues contributing to this behavior or offer professional guidance.
It's a tough spot to be in, and it pulls at your heartstrings because it's your mom. But at 78, her safety and well-being would be my absolute priority.
Has anyone else faced a similar situation with an aging parent? What did you do?
#humanity #familyconcern #agingparents #loveyourmom #difficultconversations #support
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